100

Last year Entertainment News released its list of the 100 most list-worthy individuals, setting off a firestorm of water-cooler debate and fanhood posturing. Essentially, it was a list of the people who most deserve to be on a list. A year has passed and we now present the 100 Most List-worthy Individuals of 2009. As was the case last year, eligibility rules are simple:     1. The person must be either real or fictitious.     2. If real, the person must still be alive.     3. The person need not be a person at all. All other criteria is strictly confidential. Click here for the expanded list which includes photos, descriptions and prior rankings.   1. Chuck Norris   2. Xuxa   3. Xena: Warrior Princess   4. The Most Interesting Man in the World   5. Duane Chapman   6. Fabio   7. Hobbes   8. Sinbad   9. Rowlf  10. Winnie the Pooh  11. Vin Diesel  12. Antonin Scalia  13. Bat Boy  14. Stephen Hawking  15. Buster Bluth  16. Edson Arantes do Nascimento  17. Arthur Fonzarelli  18. Lex Luthor  19. Colonel Mustard  20. Ivan Lendl  21. Chief Clancy Wiggum  22. Ichiro  23. David St. Hubbins  24. Detective Lennie Briscoe  25. Alex Trebek  26. Pauly Shore  27. Dirk Benedict  28. ALF  29. Patrick Swayze  30. Garth Algar  31. Plácido Domingo  32. Brigitte Bardot  33. Jim Nantz  34. Danielle Steel  35. Mr. T  36. Lara Croft  37. Fat Lever  38. Eleanor  39. Ahmad Rashad  40. Vidal Sassoon  41. Melanie Chisholm  42. Grimace  43. Count Chocula  44. David Bowie  45. Jessica Rabbit  46. Neil Diamond  47. Meatloaf  48. Patrick Star  49. Ringo Star  50. Steve Buscemi  51. Q  52. Q-Bert  53. Franka Potente  54. Tom Servo  55. Edward Scissorhands  56. Delta Burke  57. Alfred E. Neuman  58. Warwick Davis  60. Bibleman  60. Rachel Ray  61. Willie Nelson  62. Betty Crocker  63. Derek Jacobi  64. Casey Kasem  65. Abe Vigoda  66. Lando Calrissian  67. Vanna White  68. Dr. Egon Spengler  69. Norm Abrams  70. Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind  71. Weird Al Yankovic  72. John Astin  73. Gromit  74. Sally Jesse Rafael  75. Gloria Gaynor  76. Billy Zane  77. El Guapo  78. Dan Quayle  79. Pierluigi Collina  80. Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer  81. Laura Bush  82. The Phoenix Suns Gorilla  83. Sonic the Hedgehog  84. Billy Joel  85. The Noid  86. Heather Mitts  87. Dr. Strangelove  88. Usain Bolt  89. Michael J. Fox  90. Mercer Mayer  91. Jenny Berggren  92. Ernest Borgnine  93. Tyra Banks  94. Makoto Nagano  95. Alan Greenspan  96. Brian Doyle-Murray  97. Angela Merkel  98. Detective Harry Callahan  99. Michael Vick 100. Kim Jong Il

The List

Americans love lists. They can't resist reading rankings of things whether it be lists of greatest, worst, wealthiest, funniest, most influential, or sexiest. So in the spirit of America's love for the list, I have come up with my own list of the 100 most list-worthy people. In other words, I have ranked from 1 to 100 the people that most deserve to be on a list. Eligibility rules were simple: (1) The person must be either real or fictitious. (2) If real, the person must still be alive. (3) The person need not be a person at all. All other criteria is strictly confidential. So without further ado, below is a countdown the 100 Most List-worthy Individuals of 2008. 100. Ernest Borgnine  99. Detective Harry Callahan  98. Sandra Boynton  97. Dr. Strangelove  96. Brian Doyle-Murray  95. Razor Shines  94. Alan Greenspan  93. Fredo Corleone  92. Michael J. Fox  91. Sonic the Hedgehog  90. Tyra Banks  89. Dbrickashaw Ferguson  88. Kim Jong Il  87. Fred Weasley  86. Casey Kasem  85. Laura Bush  84. Billy Joel  83. Robert McCall  82. Dan Jansen  81. Cheech Marin  80. Lando Calrissian  79. Dido  78. Dida  77. Stephenie Meyer  76. Billy Zane  75. Amelie Poulain  74. Weird Al Yankovic  73. Dan Quayle  72. Delta Burke  71. Dr. Egon Spengler  70. Tim Kurkjian  69. Willie Nelson  68. Rocky Balboa  67. Uwe Boll  66. Uwe Blab  65. Gloria Gaynor  64. Patrick  63. Derek Jacobi  62. Ringo Star  61. Warwick Davis  60. Franka Potente  60. Count Chocula  58. Meatloaf  57. John Astin  56. Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind  55. Dirk Benedict  54. Rachel Ray  53. David Bowie  52. Jessica Rabbit  51. Vidal Sassoon  50. Edward Scissorhands  49. Alex Tribeck  48. Engelbert Humperdinck  47. Ozzie Canseco  46. Q  45. Steve Buscemi  44. Mischa Barton  43. David St. Hubbins  42. Barry Sanders  41. Garth Algar  40. Queen Elizabeth II  39. Queen Latifah  38. Colonel Mustard  37. Jason Priestly  36. Plácido Domingo  35. Ichiro  34. Phyllis Lapin  33. Jim Nantz  32. Brigitte Bardot  31. Detective Lennie Briscoe  30. Fat Lever  29. Lara Croft  28. Vin Diesel  27. Winnie the Pooh  26. Ahmad Rashad  25. Patrick Swayze  24. Randy "Macho Man" Savage  23. Lex Luthor  22. Stephen Hawking  21. Don LaFontaine  20. Danielle Steel  19. Dr. Emmett L. Brown  18. Ivan Lendl  17. Arthur Fonzarelli  16. Melanie Chisholm  15. Bat Boy  14. Pauly Shore  13. Chief Clancy Wiggum  12. Antonin Scalia  11. Sinbad  10. Hobbes   9. Edson Arantes do Nascimento   8. Xena, Warrior Princess   7. Dog the Bounty Hunter   6. Buster Bluth   5. Chuck Norris   4. Rowlf   3. Fabio   2. The Most Interesting Man in the World   1. Xuxa Who am I missing? Who is ranked too high or too low? Let the debate begin.

The Incredible Shrulk

Back in 2003, the movie The Hulk earned $132 million at the US box office. Its performance was deemed a disappointment considering the built-in popularity of the source material. I've previously shared my thoughts on the movie noting that while I was a fan of both the live-action Incredible Hulk television series and Incredible Hulk cartoon, combining the two into one movie (with a CGI Hulk instead of a hand-drawn one) came off as kind of dumb. However, the folks at Marvel Comics and Universal Studios feel the Hulk still has earning potential so they have announced plans for a sequel/reboot for next summer. Eric Bana is out as Bruce Banner and super weenie Edward Norton is in. I see where they're coming from and I don't like it. They're adopting a copy cat strategy. Look at Spider-Man. It has Tobey Maguire, the biggest weenie of them all, as its star. My fear is that other classic super hero roles will begin to be filled by weenies and losers too. What if they decide to reboot Superman (again) with Jake Gyllenhaal or what if Richard Gere gets cast as a super hero? No, I don't like this trend. If Marvel wanted to make some green on the Hulk they should have cast Mike Myers as Bruce Banner so that when he gets angry he could turn into a giant green monster that would look something like the image below.

Revisiting the 1980's

Shortly after launching my web log, I added a site meter to keep track of the traffic I get. One of the features is that if someone found my site by way of Google or another search engine, I know exactly what words the person typed in for their search. Below are some of my favorite examples. Life Lessons From The Simpsons what Meat Loaf won't do "Nestor the long-eared Christmas donkey" racial tension in Maryland Jean-Claude Van Damme on CSI: Miami talking animals political agenda cartoons James Earl Jones an awkward pelvic thrust of a movie Erik Estrada sexy Latin groove "3 Fast 3 Furious: Tokyo Drift" Willie Nelson fighting marijuana thing with anger Rex Grossman won't admit he's a Jew I am a Martin Lawrence look alike any casting calls Aside from the kick I get from reading people's search words, the site meter also helps me see which topics are of particular interest to the web surfers out there. I must admit that by far, the most search engine directed traffic on my web log comes because of a simple post I did back in November, called A Tribute to Bad 80's Sitcoms. My site averages 16 visits a day, and I would estimate that at least three or four of those come from Google where the person typed in all or some of of the words "bad american television sitcoms of the 1980's." So, in an attempt to give the people what they want, I have drafted a second post devoted to Bad Sitcoms of the 1980's. This one takes a where-are-they-now approach. So let's look at what has become of those beloved losers of yesteryear. We'll avoid the obviously degrading examples like those D-list celebrity reality shows and focus on those with the more impressive, or conversely, more comical careers. Soleil Moon Frye: After Punky Brewster ended in 1988, our budding young actress followed the path of so many child stars before her: a few TV movies and then disappear into oblivion, unless of course, you count her role as Roxie on Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. Now 30, she does voice work for cartoons (my dream job) with some work behind the camera. Scott Baio: After Charles in Charge, he went on to star in such classic television shows as Baby Talk (essentially the TV version of Look Who's Talking, featuring the voice talents of Tony Danza as the baby) and Diagnosis Murder. Beyond appearances on random TV shows and in bad TV movies, his only other noteworthy role was as Bob Loblaw in Arrested Development. I never had a chance to read it, but I'm sure the Bob Loblaw Law Blog was both fascinating and insightful. Nicole Eggert and Josie Davis (Jamie & Sarah Powell): One was hot, the other was... well, not. Things have changed. Eggert cashed in on her beauty and starred in Baywatch. Since then, she has probably smoked one too many packs of cigerettes and looks older than her 35 years. Davis, meanwhile got a nose job and is now regularly cast as the hot girlfriend. Alexander Polinsky (Adam Powell): He played the irritating younger brother on Charles in Charge. Like so many actors from the past, he now does mostly voice work these days, although it is worth noting he was one of the main characters in Saints & Soldiers. Willie Aames (Buddy Lembeck): He has all of his fellow Charles in Charge cast members beat. After a downward spiral of drugs and alcohol, Aames got religion and starred as the title character in the Bible Man TV series (Note: This show probably warrants its own post, but we'll leave it for now): "Miles Peterson, a regular guy with the best the world had to offer, turned to God and the Bible in his most desperate hour and from then on pledged to fight evil with the word of God. Disguised in the full armor of God as Bible Man, Miles fights against enemies of darkness using scripture." From the photos, he also appears to have a light saber. The villains he has fought include The Gossip Queen, Dr. Fear and The Prince of Pride, who shoots people with his ego-stimulating, heat-radonic seismo-ray which creates an egoplasmic distortionary electro-field, causing people to focus on themselves instead of God. Brice Beckham (Wesley Owens from Mr. Belvedere): Since returning to acting following an eight-year hiatus, Beckham has had only a few small parts. He was recently cast in the new VH1 "scripted half-hour ensemble series, I Hate My 30's, an irreverent comedy about struggling with the end of prolonged adolescence while facing the realities and responsibilities of what happens when your 20's end and your 30's begin." To get off topic for a minute, it would seem that MTV is all Reality TV and now VH1 appears to be going for scripted. Is there a channel out there that still plays music videos, and more importantly, would anybody care if the answer were "no"? The Cast of Small Wonder: Emily Schulman, who played the annoying next door neighbor Harriet, was on the TV show Christy (the poor man's Anne of Green Gables) in 1995. Dick Christie, who played Ted Lawson, the father, has had bit parts as recently as 1999. Nobody else did any more acting work beyond 1991, which is real shame given the collective acting talent of the cast. Of course, by now you've probably heard that Jerry Supiran (Jamie Lawson, the chubby son with an overbite) later changed his name to Billy Corgan and formed the alternative rock group Smashing Pumpkins. Some say that is an urban legend, but when my friends and I first heard the rumor when we were in college, we decided then and there that we would do our part to spread it even if it wasn't true, nay especially if it wasn't true. Alf: After the TV series ended, Alf continued to show up as a guest star on various TV shows. He was given a hit talk show (cleverly titled Alf's Hit Talk Show) in 2004 and even though it was canceled after only four episodes, something tells me we haven't seen the last of Alf. Personally, I would like to see him return in either a buddy cop sitcom or a gritty police procedural drama in which the cases unfold from the criminal's perspective. In either scenario, I can picture Alf arriving at a mansion where some millionaire's trophy wife has just been found floating in the pool with cocaine in her system, but Alf doesn't care about the small details just yet because he hasn't had his morning coffee. But somehow you know by the end of the episode he will piece it all together, but not before the chief calls him into his office and chews him out because he's tired of defending Alf's screwball antics to the commissioner.

Horrific Numbers

There's a new horror movie opening this weekend. OK, I made that up. I didn't actually bother to check if there is a new horror movie opening or not, but I'm guessing there is. I know I'm not the only one who has noticed that it seems like there is one opening every weekend. I went back and counted and there were no less than 20 horror movies that opened during 2006* (listed below). Hostel When a Stranger Calls Final Destination 3 The Hills Have Eyes Stay Alive Slither Silent Hill An American Haunting See No Evil The Omen The Descent Pulse The Wicker Man The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning The Grudge 2 Saw III The Return Horrorfest: 8 Films to Die For Turistas Black Christmas That list doesn't include movies I considered borderline horror like Scary Movie 4, Underworld: Evolution, Snakes on a Plane, Monster House and The Covenant. Also, I counted the eight movies of Horrorfest as one. While 20 movies may not even be one every other week, it's still a lot when you compare it to the breakdown of other genres. There were 15 CGI movies that opened in 2006, 11 romantic comedies or other such "light" fair, 11 movies aimed at black audiences (black comedies or inner-city gang life depictions), six superhero movies, five sports movies based on true stories, five Christmas movies, three movies with an environmentalist theme, two dance movies, two September 11th movies, two turn-of-the-century magician movies, one spelling bee movie and no Vin Diesel movies (unless you count his cameo at the end of 3 Fast 3 Furious: Tokyo Drift). There were also 16 sequels and 9 remakes released in 2006 (that doesn't include the horror movies which would change the numbers to 20 & 13 respectively). While we're on the topic of horror movies, I would like to comment on Open Water 2: Adrift which went straight to video and is available this week. It is a sequel to the low budget Open Water released at Sundance in 2003 which is based on a real life couple that was diving near Australia and was left by the boat only to never be seen or heard from again. Sort of. The whole abandoning part is borrowed from real life, the rest is made up. In the sequel, "a group of old high-school friends embark on a weekend cruise aboard a luxurious yacht, only to find themselves embroiled in a fight for their lives. Out on the open ocean, what's meant to be a harmless prank turns out to be a fatal mistake, as Dan playfully tosses aqua-phobic Amy into the water and jumps in himself alongside the rest of the passengers, only to find they've forgotten to lower the boarding ladder. What's worse, Amy's baby is still on board. When the yacht proves impossible to climb, panic and anger soon set in, and the once-happy reunion turns into a battle for survival." Sounds like a winner to me. There's just one problem, the makers of this film expect me to believe that not one crew member saw that episode of King of the Hill where the exact same thing happened to Hank and the fellas? All they would need to do is puncture the fuel line releasing gasoline in to the water and then light the trail with the spare match that the group's smoker keeps in a zip-lock bag under his hat. The rescue helicopter will then see the smoke and come to save the swimmers. It's almost too easy. By the way, if horror movies are going to continue to borrow plot lines from cartoons, The Simpsons had quite a few Treehouse of Horror episodes they can use, like the one with zombies or the one with the house that kills people or the one with children at a wizard school or the one where a young boy with the shinnin' is chased by a axe-wielding lunatic father figure or the one where the main characters accidentally kill someone with their car and then try to cover it up only to be stalked by the person they killed because as it turns out he wasn't really dead. They're all great potential horror movies and all ripe for the plucking. * Includes all movies that opened in 2006 and achieved Top 10 box office results for at least one weekend

Untapped Goldmine

As Hollywood studios look for new source material to make predictable yet entertaining movies, no media is off limits. Studios do this because the risk is less and borrowing from other sources often means a built-in fan base. From remakes of old movies to adaptations of TV shows, video games and comic books, it's all fair game. Even theme park rides are getting their turn on the big screen. One market, however, remains a gold mine of untapped movie potential: workout videos. Workout videos, for the most part, are all the same in their routines, but vastly different in their themes and target audiences. As long as the exerciser gets to pretend to do or be something else, the video has a market. Humor columnist Dave Barry once wrote "we drive our cars to health clubs so we can run on treadmills. We pedal furiously on exercise bicycles that do not go anywhere. We take elevators every chance we get, but we buy expensive machines that enable us to pretend we're climbing stairs." Now in applying this principle to movies, the studios must be able capture the imagination of audiences just as the workout videos have done. They can do this through catchy tag lines and solid casting, all while remaining loyal to the fans of the original source material. Below are actual workout videos that would translate seamlessly to the silver screen. I've even gone a step further and provided a brief synopsis and a few casting ideas. Let's see how many movie clichés I can hit in the process. Title: Abs of Steel Tagline: Go ahead, take your best shot. Synopsis: This is a super hero movie about a flabby, middle-aged insurance salesman by day who fights crime on the mean streets of St. Paul, Minnesota by night. His super power is, you guessed it, his abs of steel. He lulls unsuspecting bad guys into bar fights where he leaves himself open for a sucker punch to the gut and his opponents make the mistake of their lives. Of course the street scum at play here are always dumb enough to punch him in the stomach with their other hand even though they have severely broken their first hand. After one unfulfilling night working the bars, he decides he's ready for the big time and crosses over to Minneapolis to take on a super villain is who is not dumb enough to fall for the sucker punch. Yet somehow our hero triumphs in the end and saves the girl and the twin cities. Cast: Tim Allen, who seems to have a knack for playing middle-aged guys with one last shot at redemption. I'm waiting for him to show up in a Disney sports movie as a recovering alcoholic coach that leads a team of misfits to glory. Also starring: Michelle Pfeiffer as the middle-aged damsel and Dick Van Dyke as the villain, a role that will shock and disappoint his Diagnosis Murder fans. Title: Bikini Body Camp Tagline: Summer camp just got a little skimpier. Synopsis: Your basic sexy teen comedy about a summer camp where all the girls are hot and wear bikinis and all the guys are losers but will stop at nothing to "get some." There will be a stern camp counselor who gets his comeuppance in the end. The protagonist, though goofy and not without his quirks, would be endearing and able to overcome his earlier examples of poor judgment that alienated him from the woman he loves. The girls would be little more than eye candy, except for one intelligent girl (who would be hot without her glasses, but the filmmakers want you to focus on her brains). She is only at the camp because the extra-curricular activity will look good on her Ivy League college application. In the end she would hook up with our protagonist even if it's asking too much of the audience to suspend disbelief in the notion that those two would have anything to talk about. Cast: Your run-of-the-mill no-name teens that are currently starring on the CW and can use this film as a way of crossing over into movies. Title: The Firm Tagline: Power can be murder to resist. Synopsis: A young lawyer joins a prestigious Southern law firm only to find that it is run by the mafia. He also discovers his bosses are watching his every move. He must somehow escape this life while trying to save his marriage, which is in jeopardy because he was stupid enough to fall for a woman on the beach that was planted by the firm. There is another dirty secret: the evil firm has been vastly over billing its clients, creating one of the most intriguing and dramatic white collar crime dramas ever. Cast: Tom Cruise and a grizzled Gene Hackman, with smaller parts by Hal Holbrook, Jeanne Tripplehorn and an even more grizzled Wilford Brimley. Title: Belly Dance: East Coast Tribal Tagline: The hips can be a very dangerous weapon. Synopsis: This gritty street drama takes a look at the ever looming war between the East and West coast belly dance gangs. This would be the most violent of the many dance movies out there. The music, just like in the workout video, would be provided by Freek Factory. Cast: Salma Hayek (from Mexico) and Penelope Cruz (from Spain) on opposite sides of the war. Both would play Egyptians, which we all know have the most violent mafia among all of those that have immigrated to the US. Title: Fit Mama Tagline: She's hip, she's fit, she's back for more action. Synopsis: This would be the cornerstone piece of a Big Momma's House trilogy. In it, we would see our black Mrs. Doubtfire slim down (by getting a smaller fat suit) in order to bust a drug smuggling ring operating out of a gym. The fat jokes would be replaced by more black jokes and even some white jokes at the expense of the inept sidekick. In fact, if we make him Jewish as well, there are a lot more jokes to be made, all in good fun of course. The key is to have the Jew make the Jewish jokes and the black guy, or "brother," make the black jokes, but since he's a minority, he also gets to make a few white jokes as well, as long as they're about whitie's lack of rhythm and/or inability to dance. Cast: Martin Lawrence and David Krumholtz (that nerd guy from Numb3rs). Title: Yoga Booty Ballet Tagline: This masterpiece is about to get a master piece of whoopin'. Synopsis: An uneducated yet charming streetwise black girl from the inner city gets accepted to a prestigious ballet academy by way of a clerical error or affirmative action; either way she doesn't fit in, but she is undaunted. At first she struggles to find her groove, but then she receives support in the form of the nice white girl who finally has found favor with the snobby rich girls but forsakes it for true friendship. The two quickly rise to the top of the ballet class with their unorthodox street style of ballet dancing. The rich girls will stop at nothing to bring down the duo, even if it means spreading lies that reach the white girl's love interest, a handsome but shallow pretty boy. In the end all but one rich girl come to embrace the two and the white girl realizes she loves the guy that grew up next door to her even though he is kind of ugly (although not as much when you take off his glasses), since he's nice and has been supportive the whole time. As the closing song swells the white girl starts kissing him without any doubt that he loves her back even though she has treated him poorly. Meanwhile the black girl, who has made her point and doesn't need love, is happy just the same. But wait, the eccentric nerd who you may or may not have noticed in the background the whole movie professes his love for the black girl and the two realize that love is in store for them too. Cast: A young Queen Latifa-type actress who is not afraid of the physical comedy and Hilary Duff or Amanda Bynes as the white girl. The rest would be more CW actors who, although 32, would play teenagers. Title: Semper Fit: The Marine Corps Workout Tagline: In this army, it's survival of the fittest. Synopsis: A lone marine must save a small African village from a volcanic eruption and rescue the hot but impetuous journalist from the clutches of evil, blood-thirsty war lords, all while trying to honor the memory of his father, who may or may not have been on the take. With the help of an older mentor who knew his father the marine will employ state-of-art gadgetry and a general disregard for authority as he makes a lot of stuff explode. But be aware, the evil war lords have sent a deadly sexy secret agent in to seduce and distract the marine. It's only later that we discover she is really good at heart, but the war lords have kidnapped her scientist father and are using him to build a device that makes volcanoes erupt. Cast: Some hunky martial arts expert as the marine, a blond with a penchant for overacting as the reporter, some R&B artist turned actress as the secret agent, a washed up 80's action hero as the mentor and Yaphet Kotto (from Homicide: Life on the Street) as the kingpin war lord. Title: Special Ops: Navy Seal Workout Tagline: In this navy, it's survival of the fittest. Synopsis: See Semper Fit above, but this one would take place in the Caribbean instead of Africa and instead of remembering his father, he is searching for his older brother who mysteriously vanished 8 years ago. We later learn that his brother is in league with the drug lord (instead of war lord) who wears a white suit and colorful shirt with an open collar. He would also have at least three rings among his 10 fingers and perhaps a scar from some violent event in his past that has served to make him the cold-hearted killer he is today. And he would smoke a cigar in almost every scene of the movie, especially the scene where he shows us, the audience, how cold and heartless he is by calmly killing one of his henchmen who has made a small error in judgment and underestimated our hero. Also, unlike Semper Fit, this one would have an obvious twist at the end where the mentor turns out to be a bad guy, but that's OK, because the brother gains redemption by defeating the mentor in a grueling one-on-one fight that is happening at the same time the navy seal is fighting the drug lord, who is surprisingly limber for a rich guy his age. Meanwhile, the two girls are engaged in a bitter cat fight that is rife with snarky dialog. Cast: The same type as in Semper Fit, but with a Latin R&B artist as the secret agent and Erik Estrada (from CHiPS) as the drug lord. Other workout videos that would make great movies: David Carradine's Tai Chi Workouts, Samba Party: Brazilian Rhythm Celebration, The Pit Workout (featuring Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell), Minna's Emergency Workout, and Pilates of the Caribbean.

Beautiful People in Soft Lighting

Fox TV announced recently that The OC would not be picked up for a fifth season. Entertainment News bids a fond farewell the show even though I have never seen a single episode. To me The OC has always transcended television. It represents what the entertainment industry should be all about—maybe not in terms of writing, character development or quality television production in general, but in terms of casting. I can't speak for the acting abilities of the cast (although Mischa Barton was excellent in The Sixth Sense as Kyra Collins, the girl who was poisoned by her mother), but I can say this: The cast of The OC is beautiful. You see, normal-looking people like me don't want to turn on the TV and see other normal-looking people. The world is full of normal-looking people. I want to see beautiful people on TV, although apparently not enough to watch The OC. Maybe that's why it's getting the ax. With The OC's departure from the airwaves, it has become necessary to crown a new beauty queen. We here at Entertainment News have taken on the responsibility of choosing the show with not only the most beautiful cast, but the show that best represents beautiful people everywhere. It was difficult and I'm sure many people will disagree, but I'm afraid the decision is final. So here is the countdown of the 10 nominees given in ascending order of the number of votes received from our panel of judges: (Others receiving votes: The Ghost Whisperer, ER, Desperate Housewives, America's Next Top Model, Fear Factor, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Battlestar Galactica and ABC Family Channel's Beautiful People and Wildfire) 10. Bones: Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz are both considered beautiful, but with only two main characters, the show was a long shot from the beginning. 9. What About Brian: I really know nothing about this show other than somebody out there is probably watching because they think Brian or his friends are hot. 8. CSI: Miami: David Caruso amazes me. Not since William Shatner have we seen such an unattractive actor trying to get by on looks alone. Don't ask me why the ladies love him. It's a good thing he has a strong (and by strong I mean beautiful) supporting cast. 7. Without a Trace: I have to agree with Entertainment Weekly's assessment that adding Roselyn Sanchez to the cast did little more than increase the amount of great hair on the show, but at least there is now male-female balance. Office romance has never seemed so dangerous. 6. Lost: Sure, they look like beach bums, but they're beautiful beach bums. Do not underestimate the talents of the lighting crew and makeup artists. It's their job to make sure the cast looks beautiful. 5. Friday Night Lights: Since my post inviting people to watch Friday Night Lights, there were a few episodes where things got a little soap opera-ish, but then they evened out a little bit. The teen angst is still top notch, something I'm sure OC fans can appreciate. 4. Smallville: This is the longest running of the nominees, something that has only been made possible by adding more and more beautiful people to the cast over the years in order to combat the bad plot twists and bizarre story lines. Maybe adding more beautiful people would have saved The OC. 3. Grey's Anatomy: As someone once said of this show, "It's like ER, only sexier." What more needs to be said? 2. One Tree Hill: This show is the epitome of everything the old WB came to stand for: beautiful teens with problems bigger than yours. Somehow it survived the WB/UPN merger, but is still all about hot teen angst. 1. Las Vegas: While the show's creator may not be beautiful, he has done well to capture the superficiality that is Las Vegas. I don't watch most shows on this list, and Las Vegas is no exception (although I did see part of the episode where Jean-Claude Van Damme guest appeared as himself and died on the show), but with The OC's departure, it is comforting to know that there is a show carrying on the tradition of providing an outlet where normal-looking people like me can go to see what we should aspire to look like.

Top of the Christmas Morning to You

In 1964, using stop animation techniques, Arthur Rankin Jr. and Jules Bass produced a little Christmas film called Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer. To this day NBC's museum in New York has a display with the original figurines. The movie, which featured the legendary Burl Ives as the narrating snowman, is still considered a classic. The week it originally aired TV Guide dedicated four pages to its ground-breaking technology. The term "animagic" was coined and Rankin and Bass were on top of the world. In an effort to recreate the animagic, the two would team up several more times over the following decades for stop-animation and cartoon specials, mostly at Christmas time. Examples are 'Twas the Night Before Christmas and The Year Without Santa Claus. They even produced some specials featuring the religious side of Christmas like The Little Drummer Boy, The Little Drummer Boy II and my favorite, Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey. That was all fine until they started doing cross-holiday films like Rudolph's Shiny New Year and Jack Frost (narrated by Buddy Hackett as the February 2 ground hog). The best of the Rankin & Bass cross-holiday specials is by far The Leprechauns' Christmas Gold from 1981. Though only 25 minutes long, this feature manages to pack in a gripping story line that follows the development of intriguing characters through plenty of twists and turns all narrated charismatically (and musically) by the late Art Carney. There's even an evil temptress banshee who disguises herself as a fair maiden to steal the gold. But ultimately, the story is one of redemption and forgiveness at Christmas time as people and leprechauns alike overcome differences and make their way back home for the holidays. So this Christmas Eve as you gather with family and friends, don't forget to set aside a half hour to enjoy The Leprechauns' Christmas Gold at 1:30 pm on ABC Family Channel. If you only see one Christmas special this season, make it golden. If you do see more than one Christmas special, below is a table with air times for all of the Rankin & Bass shows between now and New Year's. (All times are MST. Check local listings for more information) Title Year Date Time Channel Little Drummer Boy 1968 Dec 14 8:00 PM ABC Family Little Drummer Boy II 1976 Dec 14 8:30 PM ABC Family The Year Without a Santa Claus 1974 Dec 15 8:00 PM ABC Family Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town 1970 Dec 15 9:00 PM ABC Family 'Twas the Night Before Christmas 1974 Dec 15 11:30 PM ABC Family Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town 1970 Dec 18 8:00 PM ABC Family Frosty's Winter Wonderland 1976 Dec 19 8:00 PM ABC Family Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey 1977 Dec 19 8:30 PM ABC Family The Year Without a Santa Claus 1974 Dec 20 11:00 PM ABC Family The Year Without a Santa Claus 1974 Dec 20 8:00 PM ABC Family Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer 1964 Dec 21 7:00 PM CBS Rudolph's Shiny New Year 1976 Dec 22 8:00 PM ABC Family Little Drummer Boy 1968 Dec 24 1:00 PM ABC Family The Leprechauns' Christmas Gold 1981 Dec 24 1:30 PM ABC Family Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July 1979 Dec 24 2:00 PM ABC Family The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus 1985 Dec 24 4:00 PM ABC Family The Story of the First Christmas Snow 1975 Dec 24 5:00 PM ABC Family Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey 1977 Dec 24 5:30 PM ABC Family Pinocchio's Christmas 1980 Dec 24 6:00 PM ABC Family Jack Frost 1979 Dec 24 7:00 PM ABC Family Frosty's Winter Wonderland 1976 Dec 24 8:00 PM ABC Family 'Twas the Night Before Christmas 1974 Dec 24 8:30 PM ABC Family Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town 1970 Dec 24 9:00 PM ABC Family The Year Without a Santa Claus 1974 Dec 24 10:00 PM ABC Family Rudolph's Shiny New Year 1976 Dec 24 11:00 PM ABC Family Little Drummer Boy 1968 Dec 25 12:00 AM ABC Family Little Drummer Boy II 1976 Dec 25 12:30 AM ABC Family Frosty's Winter Wonderland 1976 Dec 25 11:30 PM ABC Family Rudolph's Shiny New Year 1976 Dec 26 7:00 PM ABC

The Hollywood Triple Threat

In Hollywood these days singers want to be actors and actors want to be directors and people without any talent just want to be famous. So while it's not uncommon for stars to try to be everything for their fans, only a select handful can muster the versatility required to be a true Hollywood Triple Threat. Willie Nelson is just such a star. His next movie Fighting with Anger isn't due out for several months, but the premise is so intriguing I couldn't wait to comment on it. In it, Nelson comes off as the Hollywood Triple Threat that is arguably the hardest to duplicate: actor, singer, martial artist. Don't let the fact that he's 73 fool you, he can still swing a round house with the best of them and Fighting with Anger is the perfect vehicle to showcase his talents. From the film's official web site: "Ray is a young, beautiful, secret and deadly assassin. Her skill and anger are thrived by her past and a mysterious young man that is the focus of her life. When her last job goes terribly wrong and an innocent woman is killed, she is faced with the pain of her past and a new nemesis that emerges from the shadows. Why does she fight with such anger?" Why indeed. But the film's anchor is Nelson: "The country music legend is featured as Will, the experienced hit man that takes Ray under his wing. Nelson is a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and has a great interest in the action movie genre. His devotion to the project will play a major part of the film's success." Nay, his devotion is more than a major part. The fate of this film rests solely on the shoulders of the Red Headed Stranger (gray hair now). He has even written some songs for film's soundtrack including an ominous collaboration with Del Castillo Brothers entitled "In the Shadows." Not since Chuck Norris have we seen this range. You all know Chuck from his hit TV show Walker, Texas Ranger, but did you also know he performed the show's theme song, the BMI Music Television Award winning "Eyes of a Ranger"? Did you know he was six-time undefeated World Professional Middle Weight Karate Champion? For more interesting facts on Chuck, go here (but I warn you, you'd better have a lot of time to waste). Who will emerge as the next Hollywood Triple Threat? Only time will tell if Jackie Chan or Jet Li will release a pop album. Until then, we've got the talented Willie Nelson happily singing while giving bad guys the beat down in low-budget movies. Speaking of low budget, after he's done fighting with anger, Nelson will reprise his role as Uncle Jesse in a straight-to-video prequel of The Dukes of Hazzard. Sadly, he is the only cast member from the first movie returning for the second. Needless to say, the fans of the first movie are up in arms. Here's a quote from a fan message board, and as you'll see, I made no effort to correct any grammar errors: "You know whats stupid. They didn't even put the real actors (from the first movie)in the second movie. Why is not my favorite Celebrity Jessica Simpson in this movie. Or Johny, Scott in this movie is not going to be the same. I love THE DUKES OF HAZZARD. But with Jessica Simpson, Johny, Scott. I mean Jonathan Bennett is also one of my favorite actors, but I hoped that Jessica Simpson was going to be in this movie. Well what cant we do nothing.. The first Dukes movie still rock my socks." The Infinite Monkey Theorem states that a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters would eventually recreate the works of Shakespeare. The Internet has proven that theorem false.

A Tribute to Bad 80's Sitcoms

In paying tribute to television of the 1980's, it's too easy to look at the obviously nostalgic: MacGyver, The A-Team, The Dukes of Hazard. No, in order to examine the 1980's, we must look at what passed for comedy. Today, the situation comedy, or sitcom, is all but dead, but in the 80's, it thrived. Shows with the most bizarre of premises popped up out of nowhere, or better, were spun off of existing shows. Who remembers that both Laverne & Shirley and Mork & Mindy were spin offs of Happy Days? Or that that Nurses was a spin off of Empty Nest which was a spin off of Golden Girls? The best is when studios utilized the one-off spin off, which is where a character is introduced into a popular sitcom for a single episode in hopes of generating a loyal fan base when that character is given his own show. The best example of that is Just the Ten of Us about a football coach (originally introduced on Growing Pains) that moved his family cross country. Another driving force behind the 80's sitcom was something we call syndication which is where a show's old episodes are sold to local markets for daily airings. Sometimes shows only existed in syndication, as was the case of Charles in Charge. As history remembers the 1980's, silly dramas like Simon & Simon or The Great American Hero will fade away, but "classic" sitcoms like Punky Brewster, Small Wonder and Alf will standout as the shows that defined a decade.

The Best of Reality TV

Many of you know where I stand on the issue of "Reality TV." I think it is boring and and very low brow. In fact I often consider certain scripted shows to be closer to reality than many of the unscripted ones. However, my opinions might be shifting. Lately I've found myself watching 30 Days (from the creator of Supersize Me). I especially liked the immigration, minimum wage and prison episodes. While I don't often agree with the politics of the show, it is a lot more intelligent and socially relevant than other programs currently on TV, especially other examples of Reality TV. At the opposite end of the spectrum is my favorite reality television show: Dog the Bounty Hunter. If you aren't watching this show (on several times a week on A&E), you're missing out. Let me elaborate. We all know the best part of the show Cops ("filmed on location with the men and women of law enforcement") is the white trash that end up handcuffed face down in the dirt after a brief chase around the trailer. Now imagine this: what if the cops chasing the white trash were also white trash. We're talking mullets, black leather, the works. Add to that a little born-again Christianity and bleeped-out profanity and you get Dog the Bounty Hunter and his family chasing down bail jumpers. It truly is quality television. Below is a clip I strung together. It is probably the greatest moment in the show's history.

The Overlooked Sub-Genre

There are many great sports movies out there, from the inspiring Hoosiers to the comedic Bad News Bears. There are Disney's formulaic, yet heart-tugging based-on-a-true-story stories (Miracle, Remember the Titans) and there are the great sports documentaries like Ken Burns' Baseball or Hoop Dreams. But one often overlooked sub-category of sports films is the K-9 Sports Genre, which today is largely sustained by Air Bud (although I hear Snow Dogs was excellent). Did you know there are now six Air Bud movies? Besides the original Air Bud (basketball), we have Air Bud: Golden Receiver (football), World Pup (soccer), Seventh Inning Fetch (baseball) and Air Bud Spikes Back ("A dog that plays volleyball helps investigators solve a rash of mysterious crimes"). This one inexplicably went straight to video. The latest Air Bud movie marks new territory. It's called Air Buddies (featuring the voice talent of Don Knotts in his last role). When Air Bud and Molly (Air Bud's bitch) are dog napped, their five adorable pups, the Air Buddies, must save the day. I must admit that at first I was concerned with the notion of Air Bud, an institution in the aforementioned K-9 Sports Genre, venturing away from the sports story lines and tackling such a hard-hitting issue as dog napping, but then I got to thinking that if this movie franchise is successful in reinventing itself, the Columbos and Matlocks of the world should be on alert.