Revisiting the 1980's

Shortly after launching my web log, I added a site meter to keep track of the traffic I get. One of the features is that if someone found my site by way of Google or another search engine, I know exactly what words the person typed in for their search. Below are some of my favorite examples. Life Lessons From The Simpsons what Meat Loaf won't do "Nestor the long-eared Christmas donkey" racial tension in Maryland Jean-Claude Van Damme on CSI: Miami talking animals political agenda cartoons James Earl Jones an awkward pelvic thrust of a movie Erik Estrada sexy Latin groove "3 Fast 3 Furious: Tokyo Drift" Willie Nelson fighting marijuana thing with anger Rex Grossman won't admit he's a Jew I am a Martin Lawrence look alike any casting calls Aside from the kick I get from reading people's search words, the site meter also helps me see which topics are of particular interest to the web surfers out there. I must admit that by far, the most search engine directed traffic on my web log comes because of a simple post I did back in November, called A Tribute to Bad 80's Sitcoms. My site averages 16 visits a day, and I would estimate that at least three or four of those come from Google where the person typed in all or some of of the words "bad american television sitcoms of the 1980's." So, in an attempt to give the people what they want, I have drafted a second post devoted to Bad Sitcoms of the 1980's. This one takes a where-are-they-now approach. So let's look at what has become of those beloved losers of yesteryear. We'll avoid the obviously degrading examples like those D-list celebrity reality shows and focus on those with the more impressive, or conversely, more comical careers. Soleil Moon Frye: After Punky Brewster ended in 1988, our budding young actress followed the path of so many child stars before her: a few TV movies and then disappear into oblivion, unless of course, you count her role as Roxie on Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. Now 30, she does voice work for cartoons (my dream job) with some work behind the camera. Scott Baio: After Charles in Charge, he went on to star in such classic television shows as Baby Talk (essentially the TV version of Look Who's Talking, featuring the voice talents of Tony Danza as the baby) and Diagnosis Murder. Beyond appearances on random TV shows and in bad TV movies, his only other noteworthy role was as Bob Loblaw in Arrested Development. I never had a chance to read it, but I'm sure the Bob Loblaw Law Blog was both fascinating and insightful. Nicole Eggert and Josie Davis (Jamie & Sarah Powell): One was hot, the other was... well, not. Things have changed. Eggert cashed in on her beauty and starred in Baywatch. Since then, she has probably smoked one too many packs of cigerettes and looks older than her 35 years. Davis, meanwhile got a nose job and is now regularly cast as the hot girlfriend. Alexander Polinsky (Adam Powell): He played the irritating younger brother on Charles in Charge. Like so many actors from the past, he now does mostly voice work these days, although it is worth noting he was one of the main characters in Saints & Soldiers. Willie Aames (Buddy Lembeck): He has all of his fellow Charles in Charge cast members beat. After a downward spiral of drugs and alcohol, Aames got religion and starred as the title character in the Bible Man TV series (Note: This show probably warrants its own post, but we'll leave it for now): "Miles Peterson, a regular guy with the best the world had to offer, turned to God and the Bible in his most desperate hour and from then on pledged to fight evil with the word of God. Disguised in the full armor of God as Bible Man, Miles fights against enemies of darkness using scripture." From the photos, he also appears to have a light saber. The villains he has fought include The Gossip Queen, Dr. Fear and The Prince of Pride, who shoots people with his ego-stimulating, heat-radonic seismo-ray which creates an egoplasmic distortionary electro-field, causing people to focus on themselves instead of God. Brice Beckham (Wesley Owens from Mr. Belvedere): Since returning to acting following an eight-year hiatus, Beckham has had only a few small parts. He was recently cast in the new VH1 "scripted half-hour ensemble series, I Hate My 30's, an irreverent comedy about struggling with the end of prolonged adolescence while facing the realities and responsibilities of what happens when your 20's end and your 30's begin." To get off topic for a minute, it would seem that MTV is all Reality TV and now VH1 appears to be going for scripted. Is there a channel out there that still plays music videos, and more importantly, would anybody care if the answer were "no"? The Cast of Small Wonder: Emily Schulman, who played the annoying next door neighbor Harriet, was on the TV show Christy (the poor man's Anne of Green Gables) in 1995. Dick Christie, who played Ted Lawson, the father, has had bit parts as recently as 1999. Nobody else did any more acting work beyond 1991, which is real shame given the collective acting talent of the cast. Of course, by now you've probably heard that Jerry Supiran (Jamie Lawson, the chubby son with an overbite) later changed his name to Billy Corgan and formed the alternative rock group Smashing Pumpkins. Some say that is an urban legend, but when my friends and I first heard the rumor when we were in college, we decided then and there that we would do our part to spread it even if it wasn't true, nay especially if it wasn't true. Alf: After the TV series ended, Alf continued to show up as a guest star on various TV shows. He was given a hit talk show (cleverly titled Alf's Hit Talk Show) in 2004 and even though it was canceled after only four episodes, something tells me we haven't seen the last of Alf. Personally, I would like to see him return in either a buddy cop sitcom or a gritty police procedural drama in which the cases unfold from the criminal's perspective. In either scenario, I can picture Alf arriving at a mansion where some millionaire's trophy wife has just been found floating in the pool with cocaine in her system, but Alf doesn't care about the small details just yet because he hasn't had his morning coffee. But somehow you know by the end of the episode he will piece it all together, but not before the chief calls him into his office and chews him out because he's tired of defending Alf's screwball antics to the commissioner.