Entertainer of the Month: Tom Jane

The Punisher: War Zone opened this weekend to a disappointing $4 million. It stars Ray Stevenson as the title character. This is the third Punisher movie, and from what I've read, none have been satisfactory to die hard fans of the comic book upon which the movies are based. I wouldn't know. I did see the second version with Tom Jane and John Travolta as the bad guy. It's not great, but the plot does center around some good old fashioned righteous vengeance. Jane is probably best known for his roll in Deep Blue Sea, an awful film about really smart sharks that go about killing the workers of an underwater marine lab one by one. Rest assured it is not for that movie that Jane is being awarded John's Entertainment News Entertainer of the Month of December. Rather, it is for his appearance on Arrested Development where he played himself, seen below (2:45). And don't forget to vote early and often for January's Entertainer of the Month. All the entertainers in the running were born in the month of January.

Entertainer of the Month: Rich Eisen

November's Entertainer of the Month is former ESPN anchor and current NFL Network talking head Rich Eisen. Before I explain the selection, allow me to give some relevant background information. First, I am a sports fan, but a selective one. I follow a lot of different sports, but for many of them I only sit down and watch during the playoffs. Professional football falls into this category. I'm really big into college football and after wasting large portions of my Saturdays watching it, there isn't much time left over for the NFL on Sundays. So instead I watch the 90-minute NFL GameDay Final on NFL Network. It's hosted by Rich Eisen, Deion Sanders and Steve Mariucci. Eisen is capable; Sanders, surprisingly, is not as annoying as you might expect; and Mariucci is professional. So if Eisen is only "capable," why is he being honored here today? Simply put: he is not Chris Berman. Before I got access to the NFL Network, I was forced to get my NFL highlights from SportsCenter which unveils its weekly game recaps by way of countless bad puns from legendary buffoon Chris Berman. He's been at ESPN since the beginning and let me tell you, his shtick has worn tired. So congratulations Rich Eisen for being a palatable alternative to Chris Berman. You are John's Entertainment News Web Log's Entertainer of Month.

I Knew It!

I always suspected there was something fishy about certain Olympic events. Here's a clip (2:18) from last night's 30 Rock:

Entertainer of the Month: Mike White

October's Entertainer of the Month is actor/writer/producer Mike White. Most of you probably recognize him as Jack Black's roommate Ned Schneebly in School of Rock, but did you know he also wrote the film's screenplay, despite not being a fan of rock music. He was also wrote the screenplay for Orange County, another Jack Black comedy that largely went unnoticed a few years back. Black is over the top, as usual, but my favorite scenes, including some bonus scenes from the DVD, feature White as a high school English teacher. See below (3:23). Next up for White is the comedy Smother starring Diane Keaton and Liv Tyler.

Not to Mention the Hypotenuse

Telly and James Blunt together at last. I especially like the slow motion dance sequences. Also, since I have nobody else in mind, I might as well declare James Blunt Entertainer of the Month while I'm at it.

Olympic Recap

I know it's been a while since I posted, but I've been on vacation. My trip ended two weeks ago, but my vacation ended yesterday. The Games of the XXIX Olympiad just came to a close, to borrow from yearbooks everywhere, what a wild ride it's been. Below are my thoughts and observations in no real organized order. The Rivalry: In many ways the Olympics peaked in 1988 when we saw the last Olympiad before communism fell. That year the United States finished third in the medal count behind the Soviet Union and East Germany. Four years later the US was second behind the Unified Team, but with the cold war over it was clear the US would no longer be the underdog in the Olympics. Now it seems that the Americans are the favorite in every event, at least among the few events NBC shows. I miss the Soviets and East Germans, who played the part of the bad guy so well, better than Notre Dame, the Lakers, the Yankees, the Cowboys or the Patriots. Even the Australian swimmers seemed less formidable than in previous Olympics. In fact, I was sad to hear that Ian Thorpe had retired, because I loved to root against him. A huge part of being a sports fan is rooting for the underdog, and in today's Olympics the underdog is rarely wearing the stars and stripes. That's why I'm not ashamed to admit rooting for a few athletes from other countries, even when their events featured Americans. Consider Kirsty Coventry, the swimmer from Zimbabwe who has now won seven of her country's eight medals ever. When she brought home a gold medal in 2004, her war-torn country observed a few days of peace in her honor. While it would be wrong of me to claim that medals mean more to some athletes than others, it is clear that gold medals can mean more to some countries than others. (Trivia: The United States has won 2,514 medals in the history of the Olympics). A lot of times it's national heroes versus millionaires. I do not mean to sound unpatriotic, but I do long for a viable rival, and it would now appear that China is just the country to step in to that roll. When the dust settled, the US had claimed the overall medal crown (110-100), but China won more gold medals (51-36). I'm excited to see what both countries can do at a neutral site in 2012. Volleyball: What a year to be fan of the American Volleyball with double gold in beach volleyball and a gold and silver on the court. I was especially in to Rogers & Dalhausser. May and Walsh were good too, but it's kind of hard to take the women's beach game seriously with those uniforms. The men's hard court team had an amazing run to the gold, although Sherstin didn't like watching them because while at BYU she had a roommate who was dating Rich Lambourne, the US libero. We won't go into more details than that. Michael Phelps: Congratulations are in order for Mr. Phelps, his coach and his mother. Most of all, however, congratulations are in order for NBC, which is happier than anyone else the way the swimming competition turned out. In fact, the way they hyped up the story detracted somewhat from the moment. Anything less than 8 golds would have been a failure so when he succeeded, the accomplishment was a little diminished, at least from a spectator's point of view. Gymnastics: I hate gymnastics. I suppose it was inevitable that, considering how much of it NBC had jammed down my throat, I would eventually gag on it. I can even trace it back to the specific moment I vomited: The 1996 Gymastic Gala when Alexei Nemov took off his shirt to do a pummel horse routine set to Snap's "I've Got the Power." Since then I have refused to watch any gymnastics. This year was no exception. So my only comment on the 2008 gymnastic competition is Nastia Liukin has a funny name. Usain Bolt: Jamaica has emerged as a viable rival for the US in sprinting. In the six sprint events (Men's and Women's 100m, 200m and 4x100m relay), Jamaica came away with five gold medals, a silver and two bronze. The US managed zero gold, two silver, two bronze and two dropped batons. The Jamaican grabbing all the headlines was Usain Bolt who set the world record in both the 100m and 200m. That guy is just plain fun to watch. Baseball & Softball: For the foreseeable future, both of these sports will no longer be a part of the Olympics and I can't say that I'm disappointed. Softball's out because of US domination, which is rather ironic considering Japan snuck away with the gold. And Olympic baseball is a joke. The United States—you know, the country that invented baseball—always sends a bunch minor leaguers who can't cut it against the Cubans or Koreans. I will say this, while they're at it, there are plenty of other sports that don't belong in the Olympics either, mainly equestrian, sailing, trampoline, synchronized swimming and rhythmic gymnastics or any event where gobs of makeup are worn (cough-gymnastics-cough). I do not in any way discount the skill and dedication required to compete in these events, but you don't see billiards, darts, Nascar or cheer leading in the Olympics either. The Coverage: If you couldn't tell by now, I'll go a head say that I think NBC's coverage was poor, despite what the ratings might suggest. Most of my complaints are centered on the live vs. tape delay. I get that NBC paid a billion dollars for the rights and they have to save the marquee events for prime time. While I would have liked to see more stuff live, my bigger problem is NBC showing highlights of certain events and then showing those events later. Similarly, NBC often showed matches out of order. If I'm watching the a beach volleyball semi-final where the announcers are saying that the winner will take on Team X, you can't follow that match up with Team X playing Team Y in the other semi-final and expect me to watch. Worst of all, however, were the ill-timed commercial breaks. I don't know how many times I was watching a tape-delayed soccer game that had a goal scored during a commercial break. Can someone explain the logic behind that? If it's tape delayed, you can pause the broadcast for a commercial break. In the talking heads department, my award for worst announcer of the games is a tie between soccer's Marcelo Balboa, who talks in second person more than any announcer ever, and track & field's Ato Bolden who thinks we tune in to the Olympics just to hear him talk (check out his piece-of-crap web site where he, not surprisingly, talks about how great he is). All that negative ranting aside, I love the Olympics and look forward to 2010 (Vancouver), 2012 (London), 2014 (Sochi, Russia) and 2016 (Chicago, Madrid, Rio de Janeiro or Tokyo).

On Vacation

All Entertainment News editors and writers are on vacation, but we will return in August with the Second Annual Entertainment News Soccer Week Presented by Sconefest. Revisit last year's Soccer Week here.

Entertainer of the Month: John Hurt

I have designated these past few moths of 2008 "The Summer of Hurt" and specifically July as the month of Hurt—John Hurt—as he is the Entertainment News Entertainer of month. This honor, comes not only after a long distinguished film career, but also after a summer of appearances in blockbuster sequels. If you weren't paying attention, you might have missed him in both Indiana Jones IV as Professor Harold "Ox" Oxley and Hellboy II as Professor Trevor "Broom" Bruttenholm. Professor Ox Broom also appeared in V for Vendetta, Contact, King Ralph, and Lord of the Rings, sort of. He was the voice of Aragorn the 1978 animated version. Another movie you might recognize him from is Alien. He was the guy that had the alien burst out of his stomach, a scene he recreated a few years later in Space Balls. A movie you probably won't recognize him from is 1980's The Elephant Man in which he played the famous John Merrick. His versatility is best summed up by his gushing, obviously fan-written biography from IMDb.com: Britain's superbly eccentric import John Hurt is a perfect example of how huge, wondrous gifts can come in small, unadorned packages. His magnetic, often bedeviled portraits have touched the souls of filmgoers internationally for over four decades, and there seems to be no end to the depth of this man's talent. Stretching the boundaries every which way but loose, he continues to be a definitive textbook in in the art of acting metamorphosis. Wow. Despite all that, to me John Hurt will always be the wand maker from Harry Potter. Allow me to explain. One talent (or curse, depending on how you look at it) I have is the ability to see an actor in a movie, TV show, or even a commercial and know almost immediately where I have seen him before. I'm sure my wife hates watching TV with me because I constantly recognize actors and point out where she has seen them, which is the other half of the game I play. It's not merely enough to know an actor's name. To win, I have to be able to provide a viable reference point for those around me. Which brings us to John Hurt. When we were first dating, Sherstin and I were watch A Man for All Seasons from 1966. It tells the courageous story of Sir Thomas More and how he opposed Henry VIII and his quest for a divorce. It also features a young John Hurt whom I recognized immediately. I said "That's the wand maker from Harry Potter." She was partially impressed and partially horrified that I would be able to connect the two. So to this day, anytime we're watching something with John Hurt I'm quick to point out that he's the wand maker from Harry Potter.

Summer TV

With the Olympics now less than a month away, I thought now would would be a good time to examine a little closer the TV of summer. What in recent years has become a dumping ground of bad reality TV and reruns, has actually produced quite a few new quality programming. Don't get me wrong, there are still plenty of reruns and bad reality TV if that's your thing. Below is a sample of shows currently airing that I recommend. Burn Notice - Thursdays on USA: I just barely found this show. Its second season debuted last night, but I'm still catching up on Season 1. So far, it's pretty good. It's sort of a Magnum PI meets MacGuyver with some character elements borrowed from Undercover Blues and Gross Pointe Blank. The action is good. The story lines are compelling. The characters are a little over the top, but it's a fun show. Ice Road Truckers - Sundays on History: I don't know why I like this show. Maybe it's the science that would allow several tons worth of trucks and cargo to drive across a frozen lake. Maybe it's the frequently bleeped truckers who are not phony like other reality TV characters, or maybe it's the way I use it to pretend to escape the Arizona heat. Just to put some perspective on things, at one point I was watching an episode and it was -47° where (and when) the truckers were and 113° here in Phoenix. That's a difference of 160 degrees, on the same planet. In Plain Sight - Sundays on USA: This show is OK. It's about US Marshals working with people in the witness protection program in Albuquerque. The best part is Fred Weller as Marshall, the philosophical sidekick (yes his name is Marshall and he's a marshal). Law & Order: Criminal Intent - Sundays on USA: If you haven't checked out Law & Order or any of its siblings, I can't really recommend jumping in now, but I still like Vincent D'Onofrio as Detective Robert Goren. Psych - Fridays on USA: I love this show. It is really funny. It's about a super observant guy who pretends to be psychic and solves crimes. Watch it and count the obscure 80's references you see. Below is a commercial (1:00) for the Season 3 premiere which is next week. I laughed out loud when I saw that, but my wife pointed out that those unfamiliar with the show might think it looks a little gay. The show's not though, I promise. Wipeout - Tuesdays on ABC: Speaking of bad reality TV, this show is really stupid, but it makes me laugh. It's essentially an American version of Takeshi's Castle (Most Extreme Elimination Challenge from SpikeTV). I think the reason I like it is because the hosts (ESPN's John Anderson and some other dude) make fun of the contestants, who all seem to be incredibly annoying, shameless loud mouths. It's too bad one of them actually wins $50,000 at the end of each episode. At least I get to see most of them made fools of. And if none of those shows interest you, as I mentioned, we have the Olympics starting in less than a month on 8/8/08, which as we all know is a lucky number in China.

¡Viva España!

Since my occupation is essentially stay-at-home dad, I was able to watch the entire UEFA Euro 2008 tournament. Though I tend to root against European teams in international competition, it was still a fun little tournament and I got into it. To me, the big story had to be Turkey. Their three come from behind victories and narrow defeat at the hands of Germany provided for some very entertaining soccer. I also found a great deal of enjoyment watching the Netherlands destroy France and Italy in back-to-back games. The other major story was Spain's ability to finally win a major international tournament for the time in several decades. Truth be told, I found myself rooting for Germany in the final even though I dislike Jans Lehman, who essentially pulled a Rex Grossman as his team got to the finals despite his best efforts. I'm not disappointed that Spain won, it's just that I can't bring myself to root for teams with hair like this and Spain was third only to Italy and Czech Republic in that department (for those of you keeping score at home, Argentina is world champs of bad soccer hair). The TV coverage was decent. Adrian Healy, Derek Rae, Tommy Smyth and Andy Gray are all solid broadcasters. I thought it was a little cheap on the part of ESPN, however, that none of them was actually in Europe. Rather, they just gave their commentary from the studio in Connecticut. One final thought: it was interesting how good Brazil looked in this tournament. That is to say, the many Brazilian players who found loopholes to become eligible to play for these European countries looked good. It gets me all the more excited for the World Cup in Serth Efrica in 2010.