Last Minute Gift Ideas

Still have some holes to fill on your holiday shopping list? Here are a few celebrity-branded gift ideas you might want to consider, and yes, these are all real products. Hilary Duff Backpack Carmen Electra MasterCard Clay Aiken Bobble Head Doll Diavolo for Men by Antonio Banderas William Shatner All-Bran

Coming Attractions

It's that time of year again where studios release their serious work to be considered for Oscar voting. So as a way of taking a break from all of that, I thought we'd focus on something a little more comedic but with a hint of seriousness. In an earlier post I took a jab at the Internet comparing it to a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters. Well, occasionally those monkeys come up with some good stuff and give us access to previously untapped levels of creativity. One such example is the recut movie trailer. This is where people take clips and make a movie trailer that makes the film appear as if it is from a totally different genre. YouTube is full of such efforts and below are my favorites. Sleepless in Seattle: This was one of the first re-cut trailers to surface. If you ever thought Meg Ryan's character in Sleepless in Seattle was kind of stalker, you weren't alone. Here's a trailer re-cut to make the movie look like a psychological thriller. In a similar vein, the thriller version of Office Space is below that. Shining: At the opposite end of the spectrum, we have Steven King's horror classic The Shining re-cut to look like a inspirational buddy comedy. Scary Mary: Here's Disney's family classic Mary Poppins recut into a suspenseful horror movie. The last two are from some guys that take it a little further and re-cut a movie to be patterned after a specific film. The first is Must Love Jaws which turns Jaws into some sort of weird love story with the guys and the shark. The second one, The 10 Things I Hate About Commandments, features The Ten Commandments re-cut to look like a teen high school comedy.

Top of the Christmas Morning to You

In 1964, using stop animation techniques, Arthur Rankin Jr. and Jules Bass produced a little Christmas film called Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer. To this day NBC's museum in New York has a display with the original figurines. The movie, which featured the legendary Burl Ives as the narrating snowman, is still considered a classic. The week it originally aired TV Guide dedicated four pages to its ground-breaking technology. The term "animagic" was coined and Rankin and Bass were on top of the world. In an effort to recreate the animagic, the two would team up several more times over the following decades for stop-animation and cartoon specials, mostly at Christmas time. Examples are 'Twas the Night Before Christmas and The Year Without Santa Claus. They even produced some specials featuring the religious side of Christmas like The Little Drummer Boy, The Little Drummer Boy II and my favorite, Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey. That was all fine until they started doing cross-holiday films like Rudolph's Shiny New Year and Jack Frost (narrated by Buddy Hackett as the February 2 ground hog). The best of the Rankin & Bass cross-holiday specials is by far The Leprechauns' Christmas Gold from 1981. Though only 25 minutes long, this feature manages to pack in a gripping story line that follows the development of intriguing characters through plenty of twists and turns all narrated charismatically (and musically) by the late Art Carney. There's even an evil temptress banshee who disguises herself as a fair maiden to steal the gold. But ultimately, the story is one of redemption and forgiveness at Christmas time as people and leprechauns alike overcome differences and make their way back home for the holidays. So this Christmas Eve as you gather with family and friends, don't forget to set aside a half hour to enjoy The Leprechauns' Christmas Gold at 1:30 pm on ABC Family Channel. If you only see one Christmas special this season, make it golden. If you do see more than one Christmas special, below is a table with air times for all of the Rankin & Bass shows between now and New Year's. (All times are MST. Check local listings for more information) Title Year Date Time Channel Little Drummer Boy 1968 Dec 14 8:00 PM ABC Family Little Drummer Boy II 1976 Dec 14 8:30 PM ABC Family The Year Without a Santa Claus 1974 Dec 15 8:00 PM ABC Family Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town 1970 Dec 15 9:00 PM ABC Family 'Twas the Night Before Christmas 1974 Dec 15 11:30 PM ABC Family Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town 1970 Dec 18 8:00 PM ABC Family Frosty's Winter Wonderland 1976 Dec 19 8:00 PM ABC Family Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey 1977 Dec 19 8:30 PM ABC Family The Year Without a Santa Claus 1974 Dec 20 11:00 PM ABC Family The Year Without a Santa Claus 1974 Dec 20 8:00 PM ABC Family Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer 1964 Dec 21 7:00 PM CBS Rudolph's Shiny New Year 1976 Dec 22 8:00 PM ABC Family Little Drummer Boy 1968 Dec 24 1:00 PM ABC Family The Leprechauns' Christmas Gold 1981 Dec 24 1:30 PM ABC Family Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July 1979 Dec 24 2:00 PM ABC Family The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus 1985 Dec 24 4:00 PM ABC Family The Story of the First Christmas Snow 1975 Dec 24 5:00 PM ABC Family Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey 1977 Dec 24 5:30 PM ABC Family Pinocchio's Christmas 1980 Dec 24 6:00 PM ABC Family Jack Frost 1979 Dec 24 7:00 PM ABC Family Frosty's Winter Wonderland 1976 Dec 24 8:00 PM ABC Family 'Twas the Night Before Christmas 1974 Dec 24 8:30 PM ABC Family Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town 1970 Dec 24 9:00 PM ABC Family The Year Without a Santa Claus 1974 Dec 24 10:00 PM ABC Family Rudolph's Shiny New Year 1976 Dec 24 11:00 PM ABC Family Little Drummer Boy 1968 Dec 25 12:00 AM ABC Family Little Drummer Boy II 1976 Dec 25 12:30 AM ABC Family Frosty's Winter Wonderland 1976 Dec 25 11:30 PM ABC Family Rudolph's Shiny New Year 1976 Dec 26 7:00 PM ABC

The Hollywood Triple Threat

In Hollywood these days singers want to be actors and actors want to be directors and people without any talent just want to be famous. So while it's not uncommon for stars to try to be everything for their fans, only a select handful can muster the versatility required to be a true Hollywood Triple Threat. Willie Nelson is just such a star. His next movie Fighting with Anger isn't due out for several months, but the premise is so intriguing I couldn't wait to comment on it. In it, Nelson comes off as the Hollywood Triple Threat that is arguably the hardest to duplicate: actor, singer, martial artist. Don't let the fact that he's 73 fool you, he can still swing a round house with the best of them and Fighting with Anger is the perfect vehicle to showcase his talents. From the film's official web site: "Ray is a young, beautiful, secret and deadly assassin. Her skill and anger are thrived by her past and a mysterious young man that is the focus of her life. When her last job goes terribly wrong and an innocent woman is killed, she is faced with the pain of her past and a new nemesis that emerges from the shadows. Why does she fight with such anger?" Why indeed. But the film's anchor is Nelson: "The country music legend is featured as Will, the experienced hit man that takes Ray under his wing. Nelson is a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and has a great interest in the action movie genre. His devotion to the project will play a major part of the film's success." Nay, his devotion is more than a major part. The fate of this film rests solely on the shoulders of the Red Headed Stranger (gray hair now). He has even written some songs for film's soundtrack including an ominous collaboration with Del Castillo Brothers entitled "In the Shadows." Not since Chuck Norris have we seen this range. You all know Chuck from his hit TV show Walker, Texas Ranger, but did you also know he performed the show's theme song, the BMI Music Television Award winning "Eyes of a Ranger"? Did you know he was six-time undefeated World Professional Middle Weight Karate Champion? For more interesting facts on Chuck, go here (but I warn you, you'd better have a lot of time to waste). Who will emerge as the next Hollywood Triple Threat? Only time will tell if Jackie Chan or Jet Li will release a pop album. Until then, we've got the talented Willie Nelson happily singing while giving bad guys the beat down in low-budget movies. Speaking of low budget, after he's done fighting with anger, Nelson will reprise his role as Uncle Jesse in a straight-to-video prequel of The Dukes of Hazzard. Sadly, he is the only cast member from the first movie returning for the second. Needless to say, the fans of the first movie are up in arms. Here's a quote from a fan message board, and as you'll see, I made no effort to correct any grammar errors: "You know whats stupid. They didn't even put the real actors (from the first movie)in the second movie. Why is not my favorite Celebrity Jessica Simpson in this movie. Or Johny, Scott in this movie is not going to be the same. I love THE DUKES OF HAZZARD. But with Jessica Simpson, Johny, Scott. I mean Jonathan Bennett is also one of my favorite actors, but I hoped that Jessica Simpson was going to be in this movie. Well what cant we do nothing.. The first Dukes movie still rock my socks." The Infinite Monkey Theorem states that a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters would eventually recreate the works of Shakespeare. The Internet has proven that theorem false.

Hell: In or Out?

The bat first came out of Hell in 1977. Then in 1993 it went back into Hell. Now, not only is the bat back out of Hell, but it is apparently loose and some are calling it a monster. Lost somewhere amid the hype and hoopla surrounding Jay-Z's return and Yusuf Islam's (Cat Stevens') first album in a few decades, Marvin Aday's latest effort is worth checking out. Most of you might know Marvin by his stage name. Others might know him better as the guy with breasts in Fight Club, but at 59, Meat Loaf is still going strong. Bat Out of Hell III: The Monster is Loose marks the second follow up to his first Bat Out of Hell album which sold 14 million copies. Critics are quick to note Meat Loaf's talent: "Even with grandiosity back in fashion—The Killers, My Chemical Romance—you can bet that this Texas-bred, Broadway-on-steroids rock Pavarotti's voice and sensibility will still be too ginormous for the cool part of the room" (Chris Willman, Entertainment Weekly). But they also have reservations with grouping this album with the other two. Whatever. Just as long as it has witty lyrics like "You took the words right out of my mouth. It must have been while you were kissing me." Even if you are not a fan of Meat Loaf, you should check out the video to his remake of Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now." It's over 5 minutes long, so if you don't have time for that, below it is the Dr. Pepper ad that finally answers the question of what "that" is that Meat Loaf won't do for love.

Ah, The Liberal Media

As Martin, my politically conservative brother-in-law, once said about the movie Shrek, "I used to like that movie until I found out who was in it: a bunch of liberals." My response to him was "Name another movie." It's no secret that if Hollywood were a state it would be about as blue as they come. Of course there are a few notable exceptions: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Clint Eastwood and Tom Selleck to name a few. This is an Entertainment News web log, so without trying to turn it into a political forum, I will say this, my main problem with the left is the hypocrisy that seems to underlie the liberal agenda. To sum it up, if they're so tolerant, why aren't they more tolerant of conservatives? The answer is the agenda is the driving force. I could give plenty of examples, but I will focus on two events that I find inconsistent. We're all familiar with Mel Gibson's drunken tirade berating Jews and basically digging himself into a fairly deep hole career wise. He doesn't seem to have a friend in Hollywood, and I'm not saying he should. The contrasting example concerns Michael Richards, aka Kramer from Seinfeld. He is in the news this week for losing his temper during a stand up comic routine and letting go a barrage of disparaging remarks concerning African Americans. He even used "The N Word." He is now trying to pick up the pieces of his career and appeared on Letterman last night via satellite to apologize. He's hoping this will all blow over, and it probably will. What it boils down to is both Gibson and Richards said some things they wish they could take back. They are trying to convince people that their comments don't represent their true opinions. Yet while Gibson has been blacklisted, Richards already has friends coming to his rescue (Jerry Seinfeld for one). On the Huffington Post, a web log noted for its liberal stance, Earl Ofari Hutchinson shifts some blame from Richards by saying "The obsessive use of and the tortured defense of the word by so many blacks gave Richards the license to use the word without any thought that there'd be any blow back for doing it." In other words, he's been around it and heard it so often, why should we be shocked when he uses it? Interesting. Yet somehow TV stations complain to the FCC when they get fined for letting profanity slip past censors. "The F-word should be allowed as long as it's not used in a sexual connotation." So you're telling me that an adult like Michael Richards is influenced by the vocabulary around him, but a kid who's watching TV at 8:00 pm and hears profanity isn't? See what I mean about the hypocrisy? I'm not trying to defend Gibson and condemn Richards, but Hollywood is the last group I want telling me what is right and wrong.

Reinventing Blond & Green

Casino Royale opens today and as you might have been able to tell from the trailers, it takes James Bond back to his roots, and no I'm not referring to his new blond hair color. This whole idea of reinventing the movie franchise is an emerging trend these days. It used to be that Hollywood couldn't come up with original ideas and decided that the safest investment was to make sequels to popular movies. The cheep sequel has been around for decades. Long before Disney decided to churn out straight-to-video sequels of its theatrical hits, studios took advantage of their actors' long-term contracts and basically told them what their next movie would be. Take Mickey Rooney for example. In 1937 he appeared in a low budget hit called A Family Affair which eventually spawned 15 sequels, all starring Rooney as the lovable Andy Hardy. Six of those sequels came out over a two-year span. Eventually Hollywood got a little more creative in its marketing efforts as George Lucas popularized the prequel. Today, the sequel and prequel movie conventions have been combined into the reinvented franchise and Casino Royale is just the latest example. Like Batman Begins, which is probably the best example, it takes place in the present day, which would suggest it follows the previous films, but it takes the character's story back to the beginning like a prequel. It's a way of hitting the reset button. Another trend in Hollywood is the recent gluttony of movies featuring CGI (computer generated images), especially those with talking animals (by the way, if you're looking for good CGI movie, I recommend Monster House). It seems like every week a new CGI animal movie featuring the voice talents of today's A and B-list actors is coming out. First it was zoo animals, then barnyard animals. It appears the next wave of films will feature rodents. None of them really seem to stand out and as a result, the studios are cannibalizing each other's business. That leads us to the topic of this post. Some genius has come up with the idea of using talking CGI animals to reinvent a movie franchise. March 2007 marks the release of the all new, feature-length movie The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and this time they're digitally enhanced. That's right, the movie franchise that brought us The Secret of the Ooze will see its fifth installment as the one that hits the reset button. I'd give you the premise of the movie, but something tells me the story isn't the most important element of this merchandising vehicle. In fact, a new futuristic TV show is on its way as are new toys and other commercial tie-ins. I will say this about the CGI turtles compared with the original ones that looked like Barney: they can move a lot better (see the advanced theatrical trailer below, 1:46). It's as if they were cartoons, which raises some concerns. As a kid, I grew up a fan of the live-action Incredible Hulk television series. I also liked The Incredible Hulk cartoon (in fact, my aunt was one of the show's animators). However, when The Hulk movie came out in 2003 it was essentially a combination of the two with a CGI Hulk instead of a hand-drawn one. And let me tell you, it didn't really work that well (and don't even get me started on the Scooby-Doo movies). We could be seeing the same thing happen with the Ninja Turtles and since I was neither a fan of their Saturday morning cartoon nor their other four movies (I believe I saw the first one and part of the one where they go back in time), it's a pretty safe bet I won't be lined up to see TMNT on opening day. But, should they ever use talking CGI animals to reinvent the Air Bud franchise, I'm there.

Future John was Right

It looks like I was spot on in my prediction for The Office. In case you forgot, a month and a half ago I stated on my web log "The Stamford Branch will close and many of its employees including Jim and Karen, who will have hooked up by then, will be transferred to the Scranton Branch. Watch out for some awkward moments as hilarity will no doubt ensue. The only question remaining is will Andy (Ed Helms) go too. Can you imagine him and Dwight in the same office?" Although I must confess, as Doug figured out, I actually received a fax from Future John informing me of the planned story lines. Anyway, it looks like Andy and Dwight did end up in the same office and hilarity most definitely did ensue. Check out this video I strung together of the best Andy Bernard moments from the first eight episodes of Season 3. Also, how about that product placement from Staples in last night's episode? That was actually kind of funny because it wasn't trying to be subtle at all. We see Kevin shredding stuff (including his own credit card) and then it cuts to a Staples commercial about the shredder. Every time I think of Staples I think about one time when I was there buying office supplies and I asked an employee where the masking tape was. He repeated the words "masking tape" to himself pensively and then took two steps in the opposite direction before stopping and asking me "Wait, what is masking tape?" Anyway, I'm just glad The Office featured Staples and not Office Max, which is third on my enemies list behind only Daewoo and Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson

A DVR Full of Teen Angst

Owning a ReplayTV (a Digital Video Recorder, you know, like a TiVo) has allowed me to follow more shows than I probably should. The whole concept of time shifting, that is, recording shows and watching them at my convenience (and without commercials), is a greater thing than sliced bread. After all, the person who came up with sliced bread neither invented bread nor the technique of cutting things; he just put them together. No, the DVR is really in a class above that. In fact, since the dawn of time, there really are three inventions/discoveries in that top class: fire, the wheel, and the Digital Video Recorder. Those of you that have one know what I'm talking about and the rest of you should go read the Allegory of the Cave. Anyway, back to the original point about "my shows." At the beginning of each television season I pick a few new shows that I will try out and, if they are good, watch faithfully. The reason I have to pick "a few shows" is the bane of my existence. For some reason, the shows I like always get canceled due to poor ratings. I don't know if it's because I can't pick good shows or if America is growing increasingly more stupid. The success of Deal or No Deal and Dancing with the Stars makes me think it is the latter. So far this season, several of my shows have been canceled or will be soon. I was really into Smith starring Ray Liotta, but it got the axe after only three episodes. Vanished is a little hokey, but I've gotten into it. It has been relocated to Fridays where it will probably die a slow death. However, it appears my luck might be changing as today it was announced that Friday Night Lights, the fictional TV series based on the semi-fictional movie which is based on a nonfiction book written about a real high school football team in Texas, has been given the go ahead for a full season of episodes. The show has better teen angst than The O.C. or anything on the WB or WC or whatever they're calling that channel now. The football is realistic enough, and the characters are very well written. It's an engrossing show that will leave you wanting more. Now, I'm not one of those of those people who makes saving TV shows my personal mission, so I'm not going to tell you have to watch this show or it won't get picked up for a second season. Rather, I have devoted a posting on my web log to it (or half of a post as I wasted quite a bit of effort getting to the point). So next time you're watching TV on a Tuesday night and your flipping through the channels (something DVR owners don't have to do) and you come across Friday Night Lights, just say to yourself, "Oh yeah, I heard this was a good show. Maybe I'll try it out." And in case you were wondering, other shows I watch are Heroes, House, Law & Order, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, The Nine, The Office, Without a Trace, and, of course, an occasional episode of Dog the Bounty Hunter. After typing that out, I realize I watch too much TV. Thus we see that the DVR, like fire, also has a downside.

A Tribute to Bad 80's Sitcoms

In paying tribute to television of the 1980's, it's too easy to look at the obviously nostalgic: MacGyver, The A-Team, The Dukes of Hazard. No, in order to examine the 1980's, we must look at what passed for comedy. Today, the situation comedy, or sitcom, is all but dead, but in the 80's, it thrived. Shows with the most bizarre of premises popped up out of nowhere, or better, were spun off of existing shows. Who remembers that both Laverne & Shirley and Mork & Mindy were spin offs of Happy Days? Or that that Nurses was a spin off of Empty Nest which was a spin off of Golden Girls? The best is when studios utilized the one-off spin off, which is where a character is introduced into a popular sitcom for a single episode in hopes of generating a loyal fan base when that character is given his own show. The best example of that is Just the Ten of Us about a football coach (originally introduced on Growing Pains) that moved his family cross country. Another driving force behind the 80's sitcom was something we call syndication which is where a show's old episodes are sold to local markets for daily airings. Sometimes shows only existed in syndication, as was the case of Charles in Charge. As history remembers the 1980's, silly dramas like Simon & Simon or The Great American Hero will fade away, but "classic" sitcoms like Punky Brewster, Small Wonder and Alf will standout as the shows that defined a decade.

Mr. Bauer

As 24 gears up for its sixth season (the first four hours will air January 14 & 15) the show's creators have announced that James Cromwell has been cast as Jack Bauer's estranged father. I have no problem with Cromwell. I think he is a fine actor (most of you might know him as the farmer in Babe). However, this move raises the obvious question of why not Donald Sutherland, especially since the TV show he was in, Commander in Chief, was canceled. Donald and Kiefer Sutherland have never been cast as father and son before, although they have appeared in two movies together (Max Dugan Returns in 1983 and A Time to Kill in 1996). I'm sure there was a good reason why Donald wasn't cast, but at some point I would like to see him on 24, maybe as the head of the evil syndicate that has been in the background pulling the strings, including those of President Logan.

Something to Consider

Christopher Guest is coming out with a new movie this month called For Your Consideration. In it, three actors learn their respective performances in the film Home for Purim, a drama set in the mid-1940s American South, are generating award-season buzz. Though not quite a mocumentary like Guest's previous films (Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind), it does have the whole gang with one notable addition: Ricky Gervais from the British version of The Office. And while some of Guest's regulars are pretty annoying, others are hilarious (ie Fred Willard, Parker Posey, Harry Shearer). Guest is one of the few directors whose work I look forward to. In fact, the best characters in his films are often played by Guest himself. He really is a versatile actor (those of you unfamiliar with him, might know him better as the evil Count Tyrone Rugen, a.k.a. the six-fingered man, from The Princess Bride). He has also shown he has musical skills as he often writes the songs for his movies. Speaking of which, something I have always found funny is that the three members of Spinal Tap (Guest, Shearer, Michael McKean), a band created for Rob Riener's 1984 "rockumentary" This is Spinal Tap (Tag line: "Does for rock and roll what The Sound of Music did for hills") are the same three members of the folk music group The Folksmen from 2003's A Mighty Wind. What's more is that both groups sort of became real, doing concerts and musical appearances. Spinal Tap even went on tour and released an album (besides the movie soundtrack) called Break Like the Wind.

We'll always have Berlin

There's a new movie coming out that feels suspiciously like Casablanca. It's called The Good German and stars George Clooney, Cate Blanchett and that weenie Tobey Maguire. It takes place right after WWII and deals with an old love walking back into the hero's life. I may be wrong and it may be nothing like Casablanca, but the marketing efforts seem to suggest otherwise. Oh, and did I mention the movie is in black and white?

Murderers!

Please note: This web log entry contains one or more embedded YouTube videos that no longer work since YouTube permanently disabled my account. I apologize for any inconvenience. As many of you know I am a huge fan of the TV show Law & Order, having seen all but 6 of the nearly 400 episodes (in truth, I may have seen those 6 episodes too, I just can't be sure). In addition, I also became interested in the spin-off Law & Order: Criminal Intent, the subject of this posting. Sometimes the story lines of L&O:CI are a little hoakey, but the characters are interesting. Something else I find amusing is the many guest stars that come on the show and end up being the killer. Many times it's strange to see these actors taking on serious roles. Some of the more notable guest stars are pictured below including Stephen Colbert, Doogie Howser MD, both Perfect Strangers and that guy from Revenge of the Nerds. Rosanna Arquette Elizabeth Berkley Corbin Bernsen Robert Carradine Stephen Colbert Whoopi Goldberg Michael Gross Neil Patrick Harris Mark Linn-Baker Bronson Pinchot Brent Spiner Stephen Tobolowsky Michael York Here is a clip from when Stephen Colbert appeared on Criminal Intent as a forger and a killer.

Call of Duty

Since Arrested Development was not picked up for a fourth season, the best comedy on TV is now The Office (Thursdays 7:30 on NBC). If you aren't watching this show, you're missing out. For those of you that do watch, here's my prediction of what will happen with Jim & Pam: The Stamford Branch will close and many of its employees including Jim and Karen, who will have hooked up by then, will be transferred to the Scranton Branch. Watch out for some awkward moments as hilarity will no doubt ensue. The only question remaining is will Andy (Ed Helms) go too. Can you imagine him and Dwight in the same office? Anyway, below is a clip I put together that offers a glimpse into life at the Stamford Branch.

Life Lessons From The Simpsons I

Please note: This web log entry contains one or more embedded YouTube videos that no longer work since YouTube permanently disabled my account. I apologize for any inconvenience. One thing I learrned while working at the ad agency Merrell Remington is that the copy in a print ad must be short and simple. While the information may seem important to the copywriter, the reader almost never reads the whole thing. Below is a case in point.

R be me Favorite Letter!

I have to hand it to the marketing people at Disney. Even though Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest doesn't come out on DVD until December 5, they took advantage of today being National Talk-Like-a-Pirate Day and have been advertising on various web sites. Below are images captured from one of the ads.