Farewell to "The Paper"

This week will see the last print issue of The Weekly World News. We here at Entertainment News are saddened by this announcement. What else are Americans supposed to do while waiting in line at the grocery store check out stand? Certainly not read the US Weekly or The National Inquirer. It's a sad day in America when celebrity gossip survives and news about aliens and bat people is cast aside. As recently as 1993 "The Paper" had the eighth highest circulation in the world (source: May Mackenzie in So I Married an Axe Murderer). Now we are required to turn to the online version for the latest in alien news or cross-species breading breakthroughs (porcuporks, armadillo-ducks, rhinocerchickens). Let us all observe a moment of silence for "The Paper." That means that those of you reading out loud need to pause before finishing this sentence.